Everything is coming up roses for me and small dogs

December 21, 2006 at 12:19 pm 1 comment

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I just discovered an advice column written by someone named “Dog Lady.” Today there is a letter from Peter who is worried about his yorkipoo Prunella’s social skills. The situation is basically this, Peter’s partner John had his office over for cocktails and poor little Prunie was so traumatized that she hid in the bedroom closet the entire time. Peter and John want to have a bit New Year’s Day open house extravaganza and intend to parade their “little girl” around for the guests. Finally, Peter asks, “what can we do to make Prunella more sociable?”

Dog Lady points out that “Prunella is not Paris Hilton…How would you feel attending a cocktail soiree in the land of the giants?” She goes on to say, “Don’t force her to come out and make nice. Miss Prunella has sent her regrets…Before guests arrive, make sure Prunella has a soft blanket, a couple of her toys and treats in her secret hideout so she can celebrate in her own way.”

Amen Dog Lady.

A letter inspired by the above:

Dear Peter & John:

By the time you read this letter I’ll be gone. Your cheap champagne and cracker barrel cheese parties are a bore. I am not a showgirl for you to parade around in front of your friends. I pray that your home becomes infested with cats.

Sincerely,
Prunella

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Britney Spears Had Sex in Front of Her Dogs: As the days progress more shocking details have been revealed regarding Britney Spears and her poor small dog parenting skills. “A part-time fact checker at Hollywood Dog revealed that even if Ms. Spears hadn’t kicked “her poor little dogs” to the curb, she was still a near lock for World’s Worst Celebrity Dog Owner because of her habit of having sex in front of them, an activity she frequently wrote about on the dogs’ page on her website, when the dogs still had a page on her website.”

Sonia Fitzgerald, the famous pet psychic and author of What the Animals Tell Me, weighed in. She actually had the opportunity to interview Britney’s former small dog Bit-Bit at a Starbucks. “She told me it was unbelievably stressful to watch her owners bumping uglies two or three times a week.” Poor Bit-Bit having to watch Britney & K-Fed doing it. I hope that Bit-Bit is in therapy now!

Today’s Small Dog Headlines:

“Midge” the tiny police dog gets BIG award: “The little crime fighting dog is so popular that she has her own trading cards. The Sheriff’s Department has already handed out five thousand “Midge” cards.”

Can someone get me a trading card????

Dog rescued from fire; 9 people displaced

Dog rescued from house fire

Couple charged with leaving dog unattended: “The Pima County Sheriff’s Department says the six-month-old black-and-white Labrador, died before authorities arrived May 28th after neighbors reported the dog was not being care for.”

Dog allegedly used as weapon in heist: “Durham Regional Police are looking for two young bandits who allegedly used a dog to rob a man on an Oshawa street.”

Man Hits Woman, Woman’s Dog Bites Man, Man Goes To Hospital: That is some fine journalism. The first line of the article reads, “Jamestown, CA — Man hits woman, woman’s dog bites man and man goes to hospital.” Absolutely riveting!!!

Mother Says Ferret, Not Puppy, Gnawed Off Baby’s Toes

Family’s puppy stolen by gang of teenagers

Puppy stolen from shelter

Man jailed for strangling puppy

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Entry filed under: DECEMBER 2006.

Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Small Dog Polka Dot Bikini Have yourself a merry little small dog Christmas.

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Stephanie  |  December 22, 2006 at 1:05 am

    Great post today. Love your letter as the dog. Gets better every day.

    Reply

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I love small dogs times

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